Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
