You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize