I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
