drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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