He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
