Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
