Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize