you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
