Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
