I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize