Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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