she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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