I'm laying in your front yard are you home
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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