i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
