The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
