the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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