i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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