Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is Oprah even human
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
