just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
whose parrot is this?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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