found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
