Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize