First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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