It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
