every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
