Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
wow bdsm is so cute
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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