i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize