White coat. Heels.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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