It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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