Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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