Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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