I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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