your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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