Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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