Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My friends, they love my intelligence
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize