Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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