I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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