dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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