the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
