no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
