Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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