After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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