im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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