can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My pussy is not your playground.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
