Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
