Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
