the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
