ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize