It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
