What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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