I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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