Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
