awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
