let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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