Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
