you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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