I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
only you would photoshop your dick
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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