Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
