Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
