HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
