Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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