so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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