i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
