oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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