Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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